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Emily W. Locke

Welcome to my inner acceptance journey

Inspirational Quotes

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Image credits: unknown. Contact me if you know the source. Thank you.

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Today is the anniversary of when I chose eating disorder recovery and it’s also #WorldSuicidePreventionDay 💜 On this day seven years ago, I had my first day of residential eating disorder treatment at @centerfordiscovery. It was the beginning of believing I was deserving of recovery. It was the start of truly fighting for my life when only a couple of weeks prior I had tried to end it. ⁣ ⁣ These past seven years have been far more challenging than I ever imagined. I didn’t foresee getting to a place of strong recovery, relapsing, being diagnosed with a different type of eating disorder, going back to treatment, getting to an even more solid place in my recovery, relapsing, and now continuing to figure out how to cope through life’s painful moments without turning to my eating disorder.⁣ ⁣ The roots of my eating disorder are so deep and complex that most days I doubt whether I will ever feel completely free from this mental illness. In those moments of discouragement, I remind myself how miserable I was when I felt powerless to my eating disorder, and how beautiful my life is now compared to how it was back then. I remind myself how incredibly far I’ve come. I remind myself that every obstacle has made me more resilient and capable of continuing to fight for my recovery. ⁣ ⁣ ⁣Thank you to everyone who has helped me throughout this journey. I truly wouldn’t be where I am today without your love, support, and guidance.⁣ #inneracceptancejourney⁣ 💫⁣⁣ If you are struggling with an eating disorder or thoughts of suicide, I see you and I understand your pain. I can’t tell you that the process of healing will be easy or always feel possible, but I believe your life is worth fighting for. I believe that you have a purpose and are here for a reason. ⁣ ⁣ 🌟National Eating Disorders Awareness (NEDA) Helpline @neda: 1-800-931-2237⁣ 🌟National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @800273talk: 1-800-273-8255⁣ 🌟Crisis Text Line @crisistextline: Text ‘HOME’ to 741741
Content warning: suicide⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ Seven years ago I was in an extremely dark mental state. I didn’t believe that I was stronger than my eating disorder. I didn’t believe my depression would get better. I was hopeless; and I just wanted the pain to stop.⁣ ⁣ Back then, my mental illnesses had so much power over me that I was incapable of understanding the level of help that I needed. Thankfully, my family was able to direct me towards professionals that could help me and keep me safe, and I am eternally grateful for that. Gradually, with the help of individual and family therapy, prescribed medications, and a wonderful support system I was able to begin my healing process. It took a while, but eventually, I was glad that I was still here, which was a significant turning point in my journey towards healing after my attempted suicide.⁣ ⁣ Today, I am in recovery from my eating disorder and managing my depression. Living with my mental illnesses can still be incredibly challenging somedays, but now I have the coping skills and support to get through them. Seven years ago, I just wanted the pain to stop; but now, I want to keep fighting. ⁣ ⁣ 💫If you or someone you know is going through a difficult time and struggling with depression, hopelessness, or thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It’s confidential, free, and available 24 hours everyday. 💫For more information as well as resources and other helpline numbers, please visit: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ You are not alone, you are not hopeless, and you are deserving of help.
Cheers to 23! 🥳 Yesterday I relaxed, practiced lots of self-care, ate some of my favorite foods, and spent time with some of my favorite people. It was wonderful, and I’m so thankful to everyone who took the time to wish me a happy birthday and make me feel celebrated.
The last few weeks my therapist and I have been doing trauma work and it’s taken a lot out of me. I’ve felt more tired than usual so I haven’t been getting as much done as I’d like to. Sometimes I’m gentle towards myself about this, but other times I notice negative self-talk about how I’m not doing enough. Deep down I know that I don’t deserve that, and that what I’m actually in need of is kindness and understanding. ⁣ ⁣ Therapy is hard and important work. Choosing to process through trauma is brave, terrifying, and immensely important. Whether you’re also processing through something difficult in therapy, or if you’re going through a hard time right now, it’s okay if you don’t feel like you’re at the top of your game. It’s okay if you’re more tired than usual. It’s okay if you can’t get everything done on your to-do list. You’re doing the best that you can right now to get through this. Take it a day at a time and be gentle with yourself 💛
I’m finally on summer break! Last week I finished finals for my summer classes, and on Monday, I flew back home for the remainder of my break. Flying across the country took a lot out of me, so I spent most of yesterday snuggled up on the couch with my dog. My body needed the rest, and today I feel much better. I just got my haircut and I love it! ☺️ Here’s to enjoying the rest of my summer before I start my senior year of undergrad!
Depression is not feeling sad that your favorite show went on break. ⁣ Depression is not feeling bummed when a concert or vacation ends.⁣ Depression is not having your heart broken.⁣ Depression is not grief.⁣ Emotions can be incredibly powerful, and they are not at all invalid, but they are different from mental illnesses.⁣ ⁣ So, what is clinical depression?⁣ ⁣ According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Major depression is a serious and complex mental health condition that affects approximately 16 million American adults (almost 7% of the population) annually. Depression impacts people differently, so the symptoms, causes, diagnosis, and treatment will look different for each individual (more detailed information on NAMI’s website). Source: http://www.nami-dac.org/news/major-depression/⁣ ⁣ When my depression is debilitating, I feel like a heavy grey cloud is weighing on me for sometimes days, weeks, or months at a time, and it is extremely difficult to do basic things like get out of bed or brush my teeth. Depression has led me to believe that the world would be better off without me. Depression is a monster, and my heart goes out to anyone who has suffered or is currently suffering from it.⁣ ⁣ Although depression is unique to the individual, the commonality among those with clinical depression is that they are battling a mental illness, and that is significantly different from intense emotions.⁣ ⁣ Clinical depression is not the equivalent of sadness, and mental illnesses are not adjectives. So please try to be sensitive to those living with mental illnesses and choose your words wisely.

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