WOW, it's been nearly two months since I've blogged. I can't believe I let so much time slip away without writing on here. Despite my being somewhat shocked at the time lapsed I know exactly why I've stayed away. Before I get into that I just want to give a couple of updates. Updates: NEDAwareness…
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Need for Validation
Over the years I have accepted that I decided to earn my GED instead of finishing high school in the traditional setting. When I began at PCC it was partly so that I could try out college while being close to home for the sake of my recovery. The other part was that I assumed…
Mentally Free, Physically Stuck
Trigger Warning: eating disorder behaviors, weight loss, weight gain, body dysmorphia As I have mentioned in previous posts, right now I am actually in a really stable place with my eating disorder. What exactly do I mean by that? Well, I haven't engaged in an eating disorder behavior in five and a half months so…
Reunited with Dance
In March of 2013, there was a night that made me finally reach my limits with dance. It made me realize that I needed to leave, but I had no idea when or if I would ever return to my true passion. I was in too fragile of a mental state to handle the toxicity of…
Graduated (part 1)
As I have mentioned in previous posts I have been in the outpatient program at Portland DBT for about a year now. I have been in their phase one program since March of 2016. Being in phase one means that I have therapy once a week and then I go to an eating disorder-specific group once…
Revival
Feature images: Demi Lovato's book, Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year. Where do I even begin? 21 days since I last blogged and holy crap have these past 3 weeks been difficult. I suppose a good place to start would be why I chose those images since I don't usually put pictures in my actual blog…
Reflection
2016 gave me a lot of ups, as well as some downs. But quite honestly, it's one of the years that I'm most proud of. These are some of my most significant parts of this past year - Started college! Completed my first 3 terms of college with a 4.0 Began at Portland DBT -…
Different Attitude
Trigger Warning: eating disorder behaviors This time of year can be so difficult, especially for those of us with eating disorders. From food being such a big part of the holidays to the potentially difficult times with family to the comments of "Oh next year my resolution is to lose x amount of pounds." It's…
Three-Month Milestone
Trigger Warning: eating disorder behaviors THREE MONTHS BEHAVIOR FREE!! December 9th, 2016, marks exactly 3 months since the last time I engaged in an eating disorder behavior. Let me take a moment to express how genuinely proud I am of myself!! This is the longest chunk of time I've been without behaviors in a very…
Follow Up
I received a lot of incredible feedback from my last blog post titled, "Silenced." So many of you told me how proud you were that I spoke up, some of you just gave me comfort by validating my feelings, and some of you suggested I share what I wrote with my teacher. I greatly appreciated…
Emily W. Locke 